Do you have behaviors or emotions you would like to change? Perhaps you get angry a little too often, or find yourself retreating when there’s conflict. Or maybe you are in a dissatisfying relationship, are frustrated with your boss, or just feel like the world isn’t giving you what you need.
If so, Tara Bennett-Goleman’s brilliant new book, Mind Whispering: A New Map to Freedom from Self-Defeating Emotional Habits should be on your reading list. This exquisitely written book will give you a complete roadmap for transforming dysfunctional and counterproductive emotions and behaviors into new patterns that will allow you to flourish.
It starts by building a vocabulary of emotional habits, which Tara calls modes. She draws from Buddhist philosophy to identify three basic modes: attachment, aversion, and bewilderment. While these modes, in their healthy form, can lead to productive and fulfilling living, they often manifest more negatively, causing suffering and hardship for ourselves and others. The key is to transform these negative modes into secure mode, a state of integrated wholeness that brings you into balance so you can engage more fully with the world around you.
How do you make the transition into secure mode?
First you need to learn to recognize the negative patterns, so you can spot them when they occur. Then, you need to begin the process of mindful habit change, which is at the core of Mind Whispering. Tara builds on Charles Duhigg’s breakthrough book, The Power of Habit, and then, with clarity and precision, layers in the practice of mindfulness.
This is where the book really shines. Tara’s gentle and non-judgmental guidance makes you feel safe and secure. She illustrates her points through numerous real-life examples, so you understand exactly what she’s talking about. Already, the journey has led to some fresh new insights that I’ve put into action for my own life.
Mind Whispering is one of those rare books—so beautifully and eloquently written, yet practical and inspiring. I highly recommend!
Special Note: I had the pleasure of meeting Tara and her husband Dan Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, in a workshop in St. Paul sponsored by the Tergar Meditation Community. The pictures are from the workshop.
Just love the term “mind whispering”–thanks so much for recommending this book!
Thank you so much Steven for recommending the book. I am looking forward to reading it. Most people understand the value of Emotional Intelligence. Very few attain mastery with the grounding practices. Tara’s book will be very resourceful.
Khwaja Shaik